Max Mercury: A Night Out

by G Dean Manuel

Max reclined back in the nice chair. He liked this restaurant, Capes, partly because it fed his ego. It catered exclusively to top celebs. Only the A-list superheroes got in here. He frequented this and many places like this, his superspeed coming with a high metabolism which meant he needed to eat often. But you'd never catch Max Mercury at a Burger King, he was better than that. Everything about his life had to be exclusive... well except his woman. At least he was never exclusive.

Max was broken out of his reverie when he was nudged. He turned to see who had hit him, maybe even give it a piece of his mind, but no one was there. When he turned back, a napkin was sitting in front of him. Max looked around, half believing a camera crew was going to pop out and tell him he was being punked. With no camera crew was forthcoming, he gingerly lifted the napkin in front of him. His body was a mass of potential energy ready to erupt into kinetic in a moment's notice. Nothing happened.

Max stared at the napkin confused. Then he turned it over and saw the writing. It was in clean, crisp hand and read:

Danger.

Get out now while you still can.

Max was now sure he was being punked. Max Mercury in danger? It was a laughable thought. He was a premier member of the Liberty League, one of their flagship heroes. He was a god of speed, renowned the world over! How could he be in danger?

He stood up and looked around the room. What he saw disconcerted him a little. He was the center of attention. That alone would not have concerned him. He loved being the center of attention. He was Max Mercury. It was when he noticed that over three-quarters of the people in the room were nothing more than robotic dolls. How had he not noticed?

He wasn't worried. Again, he was Max Mercury. He shifted himself into overdrive. He had heard many people talk about whether he was always moving at super speed or not. He didn't. He consciously controlled whether he moved to superspeed. Life passing by like a DVD on slow-mo all the time could not possibly be somebody's idea of cool. Anyways, he kicked himself into overdrive. Time slowed. Well, his perception of time sped up. There were eight people that weren't dolls. Each was reaching for a weapon, at least that is what he assumed. He stood there for a moment, watching them all. He had a cocky half-smile plastered to his face. Bringing only eight against Max Mercury? These people obviously didn't know who he was. He waited just to show off. Seconds inched pass. Languidly, Max started off but he was abruptly shunted out of overdrive. Time came flooding back to its own pace.

Max hit the ground in an explosion of air, his lungs emptied by the impact. He heard the unmistakable sound of two laser blasts going off above him. The waiter, that Max had pretty much ignored, had tackled the stunned superhero straight to the floor. The man, solid and sturdy, the polar opposite of the lithesome Mercury, was rummaging in his apron. "You told us that you'd be less than useless without your powers," the waiter said.

"I'm Max Mercury, I'm never useless!" Max mumbled.

The waiter favored him with a deprecating look. It disappeared with a smile when he found what he was looking for. He pulled out a small chunk of highly polished silver and gripped it tightly in his hand. He threw Max a wink. Then his skin... rippled. Suddenly he was a moving silver statue. "Stay down."

"What else am I going to do?"

The waiter stood up. Immediately the four assailants targeted him. There was the hard whine of the guns charging then the pop of their discharge. The first shot hit him straight on, bounded off and hit the man on the right. That assailant's shot was fired reflexively and hit the waiter on the shoulder. It glanced off, striking the man behind him. The other two shots veered off into the walls.

A blood-curdling yell preceded the blade of a gladius erupting from the chest of one of the remaining assailants. A woman dressed as a waitress, with a savagely gleeful expression, kicked the body off her sword, launching it across the room. It crashed into the wall with a sudden thump. A blue orb slammed into the ground, shattering into a million pieces.

Max Mercury felt his body slam back into overdrive. He looked at the three remaining people in the room. A man with a laser gun. Woman with a sword and a serious hard-on for a fight. Metalman. The last two hadn't tried to kill him. In fact, they were trying to help him. A fraction of a second, he was at the elbow of the gun-wielding thug. He relieved him of his laser.

"So, what do we have here?" Max said playfully. Before anyone blinked, he had disassembled the gun and had it neatly arranged on the table. "Interesting... this works on a double fusion matrix!"

Metal man's fist crashed into the face of the last assailant. The man dropped bonelessly to the ground. "You shouldn't be looking at that."

"Why not?"

"Future tech," the wiry woman said.

"Well, it looks interesting," Max mumbled like a child being admonished.

"Sir, I just want to tell you that I deeply regret my part in what happens next," the metalman said, looking truly contrite.

"What part?"

"Distraction."

"Distra-" That is when Max felt the needle pierce his skin. He had just enough time to turn around and look accusingly at the grinning face of the female warrior before crumpling listlessly to the floor.

"You know you shouldn't take so much pleasure doing that, Valeria." the metalman said.

"Oh, hush, it isn't like it will hurt him, Switch."

"We better get to work. That'll only keep him out for thirty minutes."

اس نے دو عورتیں اسی وقت ہی کی ہیں

Half an hour later Max rubbed bleary eyes. He'd fallen asleep? His week had been quite packed, it was plausible. He smiled ruefully. A speedster running himself ragged. He found the waiter and asked for his check.

"You didn't order anything, sir. You almost immediately fell asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake you," Switch told the bewildered hero.

"Oh, then can I get ten orders of spaghetti, four orders of the lemon chicken zitti, six loaves of bread with that awesome mix of herbs and spices, and fifteen orders of tiramisu. Just need a snack," Max said, flashing Switch a smile.

"Of course, sir."

"Hey, call me Max."

"We will have it ready in a few minutes, Max." said Switch. He headed back to the kitchen and placed the order with the cook. Both the cook and the actual waiter looked very confused. They had been put in stasis thanks to Static. Switch barely spared them a glance. They would recover.

Valerian was standing in the back and nodded to Switch as he approached. "You ready?"

"Sure," he said, "let's go back to the future." After he made the comment he looked at her.

"What?" she asked as she caught him staring at her.

He sighed. "I know you are like a thousand years old but you really need to sit down and watch a movie."

Valerian looked at Switch and lifted her lip in a sneer. "Your movies are pathetic. Now back in Greece, we had such plays!"

"Not Ancient Greece again! I think I'll pass and just make the temporal jump earlier, damn the consequences."

Valerian rolled her eyes. "I am Valerian, war priestess of the goddess Athena. I have no time for your silly 'movies'." She opened her mouth to say more something when the scanner she was holding beeped. "Saved by the gong..."

"Bell. Saved by the bell."

"Let's just go back home."

"Yes, ma'am."

With a crackle of temporal energy, they disappeared.